a deeper well

Jackie hams it up in the Ped Mall

There is an old Vineyard song that I really love.  It is called "Spirit Song" and it was written by John Wimber. I love the lyrics, especially the last part of the first verse:

O let Him have those things that hold You

And His Spirit like a dove

Will descend upon your life

And make you whole

I feel like autism can easily gain a hold of me.  It is hard to shake.  My mind goes to places that are are uncertain and ambiguous.  What if Jack's case turns severe? How will school look?  Will he have a "normal" life? What will his relationships be like?  How will my life play out in relation to Jack's?  Who will take care of him when I am gone? 

Kimmie does a good job of re-centering me.  Thank God for her. Anyone who thinks God does not speak should get married to a woman like my Wums.  "We are not going to stay stuck," she tells me. "We are going to keep pressing into Jesus - no matter how painful it is." Without her, I start to spin my wheels. I go to  places where autism and worry consume me.  At times, the worry, doubt, and anxiety seem unending and inexhaustible.


Then again, the Holy Spirit is equally unquenchable.  I have felt him by my side, beckoning me to his well - a well that is deeper than my worry, fear, and uncertainty.  Some days I get there quicker than other days.  Some days I don't get to the well at all.  And yet, He remains, constantly calling me towards his living waters.  Help me keep saying yes Jesus...